One Bad Day...

All it takes is one bad day to make the most devout Christian lose their faith.  
I heard a testimony the other day that made me take a deep breath and say, "Wow, somebody actually knows how I feel!"  It came from the lead singer of MercyMe when he was talking about the inspiration behind the song "Even If".  To open his talk about the events that went into the song, he said, "Pardon my French, but sometimes life just sucks!"  The sobering and unfortunate fact is that he is absolutely correct.  
In the first chapter of the book of Job, God asks Satan a question and it is a question that you never want to hear during your quiet time with the Lord with your name in it.  I heard that question about 2 and a half years ago, and my life changed forever soon after that.  "Have you considered my servant Brian?"  Then if you twist in the story of Shadrach, Meschach, and Abednego, and you have the recipe for the ultimate test of faith.  
I'll start by giving you a very brief rundown of what happened on my "One Bad Day".
It was to be my daughter's birthday, as in the day she was born.  After 40 hours of labor, my wife gave birth to this 7lb 14 oz little girl.  The problem is that after a few seconds, Lily (my daughter) stopped breathing.  We learned very quickly about seizures, medications, doctor's visits, the best route to take from Savannah, GA to Druid Hills near Atlanta, GA, special needs child care, in home nursing, Medicaid, Occupational Physical and Speech therapy, alternative treatments for epilepsy....we learned a lot in a short time.  It has been difficult for a while and we are just now getting the hang of it.  Anyhow, That was supposed to be the day filled with great joy.  Instead, it began a cycle of gaining a little and losing a lot!  
The song that went with the singer's testimony hit me so hard, I couldn't do anything but weep in my chair as I listened to it.  The lyrics to the song will be in bold italics.

I've stood on this stage night after night
Reminding the broken it'll be alright
But right now, oh right now I just can't
Now I have never been an on stage performer.  My talent lies in other areas.  However, I have spoken and taught Biblical principles to a crowd on multiple occasions before.  I have written this blog declaring that if you use Scripture to guide how you live your life, then you'll be all right no matter how broken you feel.  "For His stripes we are healed!" "I can do all thing through Christ who strengthens me!" JUST BELIEVE!!!  I'm going to be transparent with you.  What a load of cookie cutter Christianity crap!  Let's be honest, you have no idea if it is going to be alright.  Whether it is a sickness, drug addiction, new job loss, you have no clue if it is going to be alright.  It is hard for me sometimes to write a blog like this one and find the silver lining behind what I see around me.  It SUCKS MAN!!  If you have read this blog for any number of years since it's creation, you know that something is up because I used to write all the time and I've only posted like 3 times in 2 years.  That is because, sometimes with all the darkness and death I see around me, it is hard to A) Quiet my self so that I can hear the voice of the Holy Spirit, B) let myself be still long enough to put my thoughts and observations on paper and contemplate how they tie into Scripture.  Sometimes I just can't!!!

It's easy to sing
When there's nothing to bring me down
But what will I say
When I'm held to the flame
Like I am right now
It's very easy to proclaim the goodness of God when everything is going right for you.  I was a praisin' fool before all this crap started.  Please, do not get the wrong idea here.  I love my daughter.  She brings joy with every smile and giggle that flies from her cute little toothy face.  However, there are times when I just get tired of it all.  In those times, praising God is HARD!  Let's face facts here.  When you're in those times, you feel the heat being turned up on you, you tend to forget about praising and you go into panic mode. I've been there, done that!

I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You'd just say the word
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
This is the biggest challenge to me in this walk that I find myself in.  You pray, you worship, you have hands laid on, you change your language to only speak positive even of negative events, and yet the problem gets worse.  The cancer spreads to another organ, instead of getting off drugs you try another one, your precious baby girl develops a brain bleed because her brain shrinks and shreds a blood vessel in her cranium; whatever the case is, when the problem remains or gets worse even though you've done everything naturally and spiritually that you know to do, what then?  Doesn't the Bible say all of these wonderful things about healing, deliverance, miracles, etc?  Is God not sovereign?  Then why is this happening to you? He created everything just by speaking, why doesn't he make your problem go away?  These are questions that I have asked myself many, many times.  I still have no answers except for ones that might just make you even more mad about the situation.   In my experience, I can speak with a fair amount of certainty, the only thing that you can do at that point is make up your mind that no matter what, your hope is in Him.  You cannot do anything else about it. We as humans cannot stand the fact that have to let go of our imagined control when situations go this far wrong.  

There is much more to the song and the singer's testimony that I am not going to go into at the moment.  However, there are also things that you can do if you find yourself on the outside of a situation that might cause someone to identify with that song.  
1. Call/text them.  You don't have to get into an hour long conversation.  Just call them to say hi and catch up if you haven't seen them in a while.  If you're like me and no good at thinking of things to say, call anyway and give them what you got.  
2. Ask if there is a need that they can meet.  IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE MONEY!  It can be washing some dishes, cut some grass, fold laundry, come over for a visit NOT TO TALK ABOUT THEIR PROBLEMS, rent a movie that you can watch with them at home if they're home bound.
3. Leave your clichés at the door.  They've heard them all till they probably want to vomit.  Doesn't make the cliché statements any less true, but they have probably already heard them.  
4. Ask them if they'd like to come and have lunch/coffee with you.  Same rules apply as with the visit.

 I bless you today to know that you serve a God that believes in you more than you believe in yourself.  I bless you to know that if you find yourself in the middle of the fire, that there are others that have been in the fire and can help you out with some "spiritual aloe vera".  Finally I bless you to know that He is I AM, there fore you CAN!

Grace and Peace Be with you ALWAYS!!!